Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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