I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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