Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize