Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
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