Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
