Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
