doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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