its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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