oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Did I show you my penis last night?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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