well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
COCAINE IS GR8
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
