As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
another moral hangover. fuck.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
