her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it glows. i had to have it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I pour the whiskey from now on
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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