eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Who died my cat blue again?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
