If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
