Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
