I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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