Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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