trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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