do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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