i will never coherently bang her
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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