Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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