I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
