sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
