Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize