Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
