What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
