Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
did i just pee glitter
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
