do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
