Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
