You really coming over, don't trick.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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