Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
