Your dad touched me again.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
