She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
barbara walters just said penis...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
