he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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