piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
