i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
