did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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