I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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