i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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