sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
