so that wasnt chicken after all
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
