So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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