Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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