I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
