But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
