You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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