I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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