Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
