Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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