Soap is not a condiment
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
