somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
