He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
