Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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